He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
