I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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