I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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