I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
where are my eyebrows?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
