dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
