I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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