Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize