Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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