Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
