I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
