I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Randomize