i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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