You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
