Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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