just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
