all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
