K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
