she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
