I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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