you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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