I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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