I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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