Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
