So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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