I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
