I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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