So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
