i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
