I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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