I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
