He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize