I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
