Where did you get a picture of my penis
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
