A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
