yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i now understand why vodka
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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