if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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