Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
