careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Its about making memories worth repressing
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
