Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
