Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize