Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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