areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
