He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
