Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
