dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
