It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
