Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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