I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize