totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
