so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
