so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
