I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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