I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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