omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
