The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
