That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
