He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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