Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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