This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
