Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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