I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
