I think i peed on brittanys purse
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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