Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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