Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You left your phone here
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