to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
