I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
