Plan B is the new Plan A
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
