Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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