Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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